Which dating sites do not work?
To find our list of best sites, we use, test, research and continually speak to people who use dating sites.. It is a massive task.
During our research we find most sites are not good enough for our top ten list, some sites are okay, but just not the best.
Most of the things that cause a site to actually be bad are caused by these 3 things.
Sadly there are more sites out there with these problems, than not.
These dating sites tend to have 4 problems:
1, Not enough people on them for people to get a decent match
2, Fake profiles
3, taking money without client realising or allowing it
4, Free sites are free, but have more time wasters on
These are how to spot if a site has these issues and why they can cause you problems.
1, Not enough people on them for people to get a decent match
It is quite amazing how many people are needed to make a dating site actually work.
Firstly there are factors like enough people in the same location, age and sex.
If each of these needs 30 new people on a site each day or week to have any chance of finding a decent match, this is a large amount of people.
Then there are four other factors like if a man need somebody shorter than them or woman is someone taller than them.
There are other factors that put down the possible matches for each of us as well, such as
- How good looking, so if the other person is so good looking they would never go for you, or they are not good-looking enough for you.
- Then there is politics, interests, whether the person wants children, has children and loads of other factors.
- Then to top it off, most people stop logging onto site after a few weeks as they try others, find someone, stop bothering, give up, or go elsewhere.
It is for these reasons that most of the smaller niche sites do not manage to make matches that work.
They also do not manage to grow and gain more people. In the same way that most people go to eBay because there are the most buyers and sellers, people tend to go to the dating site with the most people on. In the industry this is called critical mass and momentum.
People often start up and you dating sites and they normally fail because people cannot get past this problem.
New sites that succeed manage are because they:
1, have something new that no one else has and people really want.
2, They have a massive amount of money to get users with when it is less cost effective to advertise to get daters as there are less other people on the site.
Most sites do not have these things and so fail.
As a result the biggest sites tend to manage to match people best, purely as there are so many different people to meet on them.
There are a very small percentage of niche sites that succeed and there are:
a, Sites with people who really want someone from those niches such as with religions. So are willing to more tolerate things that may make them less compatible due to the smaller choice of singles, but these are relatively rare exceptions.
b, When the site talks about it’s niche, but the database of people is actually a large mainstream site which partners with many niche sites as well.
This means that the niche site is getting a larger mass of daters as they are also coming from the large mainstream site. Also of course you are going on this database too, so are being seen by singles on the other websites that use this database as well.
So please be aware that some singles on the site may not be the target type of person you are wanting to date, they may not be that niche of the politics, religion and so on that you were looking for. As a result, best to check this in their profile or at least before you are going to meet them.
An easy way to check if the site is using the database of another mainstream site, is to see if the terms and conditions say this. Normally the front end of the site is actually just a ‘thin skin’ so the whole site below that is the same as the mainstream site.
As a result, it will have the same terms and conditions as the mainstream site and so the terms and conditions will talk about the mainstream site. As a result it should take only about 10 seconds to see the actually company that runs the base dating platform.
It can even be known for people to join two sites, thinking they are different, but the same site, with the same database of daters, run by the same company underneath.
2, Fake profiles
Smaller and new sites all have the problem that people do not choose them because there are not as many people on them. People choose a dating site as it has people on they want to date. A larger site has more people and so will have more of them.
Having spoken to people who have started dating sites or run small them, many have secretly admitted to creating fake users to get users. They say the real daters will not come without first seeing other single people on the site first.
So the first way to try and find a site that does not use fake profiles, is to use a big established one as they do not need to. They already have daters so it is easy to get others as they will want to join.
3, Taking money without client realising or allowing it
This can happen for 2 reasons:
a, The company does recurring card payments that daters have to cancel, but this is not clear. Sadly many sites have it is small print below the periodical fee, that they will recharge the card at the end of the period if the client does not cancel.
This is bad, but the problem is that as many sites do that and get much more revenue from it, the sites that do not cannot compete as they get less money. They need this money to advertise and develop their sites. They can decide not to do hidden transactions, but then have to charge more per period, so daters never choose them.
b, They are fraudsters and scammers who have gotten hold of your card details:
The first thing is to try and find out how the people are.
Go to a site like www.lcn.com that sells domain names.
Type in their website address and it should give you the details they registered with the domain authorities.
Then look up on a search engine what that address is, some may be legitimate sites that have just given the details or who they hosted their website with, a tax haven country address (some will not see that as legitimate business practice though), but most legitimate sites will have their proper company or owner details.
Then go and check the online reviews, the thing to be careful of is that people normally only write reviews when they are angry and want revenge, they rarely do it if they are happy and even less often if they are satisfied. Some reviewers are just reviewing things so that their own fake review for their own product looks real.
Also some negative reviewers are people with unrealistic expectations, such as if they are averagely attractive and contacting supermodels on the site, or other such things.
Almost all of the review websites do recurring payments and make it quite hidden that they do that, so please just be aware of that one.
As a result even the decent websites with mostly happy daters, can still have really low review scores. The ones with good reviews are often just the ones that ask all their customers, or just the happy ones to place reviews so they do not just get people placing a review when they are angry.
4, Free sites are free, but have more timewasters on
We recommend reading our article on why best to use paid dating sites for more information on this one.
It is best to go for the largest dating site in each category.
Some dating sites are more about filling in forms and personality testing, which takes more time, but results in other singles being people that want a real relationship and not just a hormone driven hook up. However apart from that factor that may make you choose a different site, the biggest ones work the best.